It's different now...

Okay, so I've come to my senses and I was honest with myself...still after two and a half months I was not able to get over his major let down, BUT I came up with a resolution and here it is:

Sus Recuerdos

No puedo negar que su cara
aparece de vez en cuando en la
pantalla de mi mente. Y, desafortunadamente,
ensecreto haveces quiero que sus lejanos
recuerdos ocupen mi memoria.

No es justo que yo, YO so la
que sigue atormentada con sus
ojos de verde-azul. Con su pelo
negro como la noche, su estructura
facial fuerte y pronunciada,
y mas que todo, sus abrazos.

Aunque quiera con toda mi alma odiarte;
odiarte a lo mas profundo, me recigno y
te digo que no puedo. Tengo tantas
ganas de sacrlo de mi mente, pero si
maldito recuerdo me sigue persiguiendo.

Repito y pienso en todas las palabras que
me dijo en el susurro de la noche,
y yo como pendeja le creí. Aunque no
completamente, pero sin embargo le creí
sus mil "te quiero," "te am," "eres preciosa,"
"eres hermosa," y "eres mia."

Y sabes que? Todavia suelto unas cuantas
lagrimas a causa de esos recuerdos.
Haveces pienso que hubiera pasado si
el hubiese puesto mas esfuerso y entendimiento.
Pero tambien pienso que ya es
tiempo de dejarlo ir.

Para ustedes ya se me salio y
le heche tierrita a esas memorias.
Pero en realidad, esos recuerdos siguen
desenterrandosen.

Yo, sinceramente ya quiero olvidar todo.
Quiero llegar al punto donde
esos vagos momentos ya no entren a mi
memoria.

Al fin de todo,
despues de un Domingo honesto y
contemplativo,
llegue a una
conclusion y resolucion.

Pienso que la unica forma de
olvidarmede el es
rezando
por el. Cada vez que su cruel memoria
entre en mi mente, rezare por el.

Pienso que asi es la unica manera de que
yo pueda dejar de pensar en el;
por que yo se que yo ni cruzo su mente;
nunca entro su memoria y ahora soy
parte de un vago recuerdo lejano,
olvidado y enterrado.

-KJG

A series of my favorite quotes

About Forgiveness:
(Homily at Church)

"Forgiveness is letting a part of who we think we are die; to let it change, to let it be malleable..."

About his 'size:'
(Conversation with the family 0_0)

"Grande y manganzon, pequeno y jugueton."

About betrayal:
(Facebooker)

"You can't laugh last if I stab you in the throat with the knife you left in my back."

About time:
(Movie: Kungfu Panda- Master Uguey)

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift."

The Song I LIVE out to...

Ridin' Solo by Jason Derulo


Yeeeeeyeeeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm feeling like a star, you can't stop my shine,
I'm loving cloud nine, my head's in the sky,
I'm solo, I'm riding solo,
I'm riding solo, I'm ridin solo, sooloooo.

Yeah, I'm feeling good tonight, finally doing me and it feels so right, oh,
Time to do the things I like,
going to the club everything's alright, oh,

No one to answer to,
no one that's gonna argue, no,
And since I got the hold off me,
I'm living life now that I'm free, yeah,

Telling me to get my shit together
now I got my shit together, yeah,
Now I made it through the weather
better days are gonna get better

I'm so sorry that it didn't work out I'm moving on,
I'm so sorry but it's over now,
the pain is goooone,

I'm putting on my shades
to cover up my eyes,
I'm jumpin' in my ride,
I'm heading out tonight,
I'm solo, I'm riding solo,
I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, sooloooo.
I'm feeling like a star, you can't stop my shine,
I'm loving cloud nine, my head's in the sky.
I'm solo, I'm riding solo,
I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, sooloooo.

Now I'm feeling how I should,
never knew single could feel this good, oh,
Stop playing miss understood,
back in the game, who knew I would, oh,
So flex how I spread my wings, loving myself makes me wanna sing, oh,
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Telling me to get my shit together
now I got my shit together, yeah,
Now I made it through the weather
better days are gonna get better

I'm so sorry that it didn't work out I'm moving on,
I'm so sorry but it's over now,
the pain is goooone,

I'm putting on my shades
to cover up my eyes,
I'm jumpin' in my ride,
I'm heading out tonight,
I'm solo, I'm riding solo,
I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, sooloooo.
I'm feeling like a star, you can't stop my shine,
I'm loving cloud nine, my head's in the sky.
I'm solo, I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, sooloooo.
I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, sooloooo

yeah it's like S... O... L... O...
S... O... L... O... S... O... L... O...
Living my life and got stress no more,

I'm putting on my shades
to cover up my eyes,
I'm jumpin' in my ride,
I'm heading out tonight,
I'm solo, I'm riding solo,
I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, sooloooo.
I'm feeling like a star, you can't stop my shine,
I'm loving cloud nine, my head's in the sky.
I'm solo, I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, sooloooo.
I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, sooloooo

I'm riding solo, sooloooo,
I'm riding solo, sooloooo.

What I feel NOW...

In realta non si meritano la felicita...viaggio in un fosso e soffocare...all'inizio non mi importava e che ancora non..che cosa avete bisogno e di ottenere il tuo cuore spezzato...veramente si ottiene cio che si merita.

in reality you dont deserve to be happy. go trip in a ditch and choke...at first i didnt care and i still dont...i hope your heart hets broken, truly you will receive what you deserve...

What I felt before...

You've been my happiness and my pain. You've seen me at my worst and at my best and have shared the most emotional moments with me; you heard my cries and comforted me and you withstood the distance during the beginning and after any altercation you were still there saying you loved me even if I angered you or you angered me. So what's up with the ambiguity? Did it change that fast for you? Or was it all just talk?